Going Concern

He's replacing Neal Spencer who is the guy that kinda looks like he's from the future. So, while BKDers lose a nice clean scalp, in return they get a CEO with a surname that will encourage immature jokes. But you better get it out of your system now because he'll be a BSDickman. [AWEB]

...and Howard Gleckman asks that you imagine they're a couple of bros in their 20s:

Listening to Barack Obama and John Boehner over the past few days put me in mind of two testosterone-addled 22-year olds preparing for a bar fight, rather than the President of the United States and the Speaker of the House discussing fiscal policy. [...] An optimist, which I am not, might think this is exactly the sort of macho posturing two 22-year olds do to avoid a fight. They splash their drinks and pound the bar. They wave fingers in one another’s faces and yell a lot, but they are really looking for a face-saving way to avoid a busted nose. A pessimist would say that both men, but especially Boehner, are captive of political forces beyond their control. The speaker is again being goaded into this brawl by a group of GOP lawmakers who can think of nothing more productive than busting up the bar.

The Boehner/Obama Fiscal Brawl [TaxVox via Tax Update]

Inside J.P. Morgan's Blunder [WSJ]
On April 30, associates who were gathered in a conference room handed Mr. Dimon summaries and analyses of the losses. But there were no details about the trades themselves. "I want to see the positions!" he barked, throwing down the papers, according to attendees. "Now! I want to see everything!" When Mr. Dimon saw the numbers, these people say, he couldn't breathe.

U.S., China Feud Over Audit Firms [WSJ]
Beijing has moved to assert more control over Chinese affiliates of major accounting firms by requiring that Chinese citizens lead those firms and make up most of the partners. That action came after U.S. regulators increased pressure on a Chinese audit firm to force it to cooperate with a U.S. investigation. At issue is which superpower holds sway over accounting oversight and control of Chinese accounting firms—including affiliates of the so-called Big Four—that audit U.S.-traded companies. U.S. authorities want the firms to help them investigate suspected accounting fraud, while Chinese officials insist on maintaining tight control over any information about the Chinese companies that the audit firms possess. An all-out confrontation isn't imminent, and a compromise between U.S. and Chinese authorities is still possible. U.S. audit regulators say they are making progress in getting their inspectors into China so they can evaluate the work of the Chinese accounting firms, for instance. Some observers think there is too much at stake for the two sides not to come to an agreement on oversight. Senate GOP to Dems: Move on Bush tax cuts this summer [The Hill]
Forty-one senators in all said that Congress should move this summer on continuing all of the current tax cuts, first enacted under George W. Bush and last extended in 2010, and that failing to extend the rates would be an anchor on an economy that is also scheduled to absorb steep automatic spending cuts. That combination of tax increases and spending cuts has been alternately dubbed a fiscal cliff or taxmageddon, and analysts have said that the full weight of both could send the U.S. stumbling back into recession. Current tax rates expire at the end of the year, while the spending reductions start in January. “We can think of no better steps to take than to address the recessionary threat of Taxmageddon and eliminate some of the uncertainty that continues to contribute to economic malaise,” they wrote to Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.). Facebook Prices IPO at Record Value [WSJ]The social network priced at the top end of the range it set earlier this week, when it said it would price its IPO at $34 to $38 a share from $28 to $35 a share, in a sign of the tremendous investor appetite for the offering. At $38 a share, Facebook is valued at $104 billion, the biggest-ever valuation by an American company at the time of its offering. Schumer Proposes Tax On People Like Facebook’s Saverin [Bloomberg]
“Eduardo Saverin wants to de-friend the United States of America just to avoid paying taxes,” Schumer, a New York Democrat, told reporters today. “We aren’t going to let him get away with it.” Auditing and Accounting Standards in Transition [AT]
FYI. Groupon Stock Spike Probed [WSJ]
A Wall Street regulator is examining trading in Groupon Inc. that sent its stock price soaring hours before a favorable earnings announcement Monday, according to a person familiar with the matter. The review by the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority, or Finra, is at an early stage, the person said. It follows unusually heavy trading in shares of the online-coupon company in the run-up to its release of strong financial results. Cornell Joins Harvard As IRS Examines Ivy League Schools [Bloomberg]
Joanne DeStefano, Cornell’s chief financial officer, told a congressional committee yesterday in Washington that the IRS completed its probe in March, according to a copy of her testimony. She said at a hearing on tax-exempt organizations that the university’s tax filings were examined along with its operations that produce so-called unrelated business income, which is federally taxable. Dixon Illinois: Fifty Three Million Dollars Go Missing -- So Who Let the Horses Out? [Re:Balance]
Jim Peterson finds an appropriate quote from Ronald Reagan to apply to #40's boyhood home. Finance and accounting workers feel secure in jobs, according to survey [JofA]
So that's nice.

 

 

Mark Oleksik, CFO of Talos Partners has enthusiams:

On April 30, Oleksik was in a business meeting with the CEO of Talos Partners, and a member of the board of directors at the company’s office at 175 South Main St., according to court records. Oleksik didn’t like the way the conversation was going between him and the CEO of the company, so he abruptly got up and stormed out of the conference room, court records state. The CEO saw Oleksik jump out of his chair and leave the room while slamming the door behind him. A few seconds later Oleksik returned holding a full-sized baseball bat over his shoulder with both hands, court records state. The CEO said Oleksik shouted, "you wanna talk, let’s talk," as he walked toward his boss, court documents state. The CEO said he asked Oleksik multiple times to put down the bat, but he refused. The CEO thought he would get hit with the bat and said he feared for his life since Oleksik was blocking the only exit, court records state. Oleksik eventually cooled down enough to sit down with the bat in his lap.[via SLT]

In the past, we've called attention to some of the brutally boring interviews that Deloitte bigwigs have done with various outlets. Joe Echevarria. Barry Salzberg. Deb DeHaas. We read these so you didn't have to. You're welcome.

Today, however, we read an interview with Deloitte Chairman Punit Renjen that wasn't half bad. It was done by FINS reporter Julie Steinberg who is great and while there are plenty of the loaded C-suiter questions, some of Renjen's answers were surprisingly honest and possibly unintentionally hilarious. 

Let's begin with the 50-year-old Mr Renjen physical prowess that some of you younger gents wish you had:

One day I ran down the hill, one and a half miles down, same distance up. I saw this younger person overtake me and I kept running, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Halfway up that hill he was panting and I overtook him. I made it a pact: "I'm not going to let this guy overtake me." I knew he was trying to overtake me. It was the highlight of my year.

His earnest description of the firm's less than democratic election process:

Our elected positions, chairman and CEO, are just that. They're not appointed. We go through a very rigorous nominating process. We've got about 3,000 partners and all of them are polled. We spent five months polling the entire partner-directorship, about 5,000 people, to identify the destination they'd like to take the firm in and the characterizes they're looking for in their leaders. Out of that comes a slate of individuals that are vetted and then an independent body nominates a slate of candidates and the chairman and CEO are voted on.

This is where he starts getting funny:

[T]itles don't really matter.

Which is just warms you up for this:

It is harder to get into Deloitte than it is to the University of Pennsylvania.

Speaking of popularity, Renjen mentions that tons of people inside Deloitte (and probably outside too) want this:

I get emails nearly every day from someone asking me to be their mentor.

And finally, just in case you wondered how cool of a person he is:

I don't own an iPod.

Too cool for you, obviously.

Punit Renjen on Succeeding as Deloitte's Chairman [FINS]

We're testing the waters for a new freelancer to join the GC team. If you (or someone you know) has a deep understanding of audit, accounting, tax, advisory services or all of the above and don't mind being mocked by capital market servants, then we'd love to hear what you have to offer.

If interested, email us at editor@goingconcern.com and include "Going Concern Freelancer Application" in the subject line. Please describe yourself, your background, and what you think you have to offer Going Concern. Feel free to include a résumé, a writing sample, or any other information relevant to evaluation of your application. Thanks for your interest. We look forward to hearing from you.

Knowing you guys as well as I do, I realize it's pointless to bore you with details from Council; like how Tom Hood got snapped at by a very frustrated Maryland senator in her office or what people wore to last night's black tie gala. However, I will share with you an interesting panel yesterday that stood out to me as incredibly raw, real and not all that crazy. Bear with me here and forgive me in advance for being serious.

AICPA President and CEO Barry Melancon moderated the Future of Audits of Public Companies panel featuring Joseph Adams of McGladrey, Charles Allen of Crowe Horwath, sharp dresser Wayne Berson of BDO, William Freda of Deloitte, Lou Grabowsky of Grant Thornton, Jean Hobby of PwC (yes, the only woman on the panel... but hey, at least they had one), Steve Howe of EY and everyone's favorite not quite Big 4 CEO John Veihmeyer of KPMG. Sounds like a great time already, dunnit?

Expecting mediocrity and talking points at best and shameless shilling at worse, I saw a group of public accounting leaders scared by the reality of talent retention and endlessly pestering by regulatory burdens like PCAOB inspections. Charles Allen said it best when he said annual reviews are "draining [his] partners."

"If we can't retain the best, we will never attract the best," Veihmeyer told the panel. "Literally the day before yesterday I had a talk with a young partner - 44 years old - who decided they just don't want to sign audit reports anymore." Though JV didn't actually say it out loud, he implied that the regulatory burden is nothing more than busy work that's making his people miserable and keeping them from doing what they do best - audits themselves.

JV doesn't seem to be too concerned with KPMG's ability to attract and retain talent, saying, "There will always be reasons to leave... for more money, better work/life... that has existed since I was a senior accountant." Ask Colin, he can tell you all about reasons* to leave.

"We have a crisis at the audit partner level," said Lou Grabowsky. Oddly, he's not talking about money, he means people are worn out, sick of pushing paper and not really feeling it these days. "Certainly compensation is important but we all know really it's at the bottom of the list." In other words, what good will buckets of money do you if you're miserable, overworked and more worried about not ticking off the PCAOB than actually doing your audits correctly.

"We've got to get the debate back to how to improve audit quality," said Steve Howe. Again, no one actually said "eff the PCAOB this is BS!" but they didn't have to, it was clear to what they were referring when they talked about audit partners spending more time dealing with regulators (no need to say the "P" word) than actually doing audits and doing them well. This isn't about giving auditors even more boxes to check, it's about the service auditors are providing. When auditors spend more time keeping the PCAOB off their backs than they are doing good work, we have a serious problem.

Unfortunately, no one really had an alternative (although I would have paid money to see any one of the panelists propose a coup on the PCAOB just up the street from the hotel where Council is being held) to go with their bellyaching. Veihmeyer hinted that back in the day, the profession kept its own checks and balances but where did that get us?

*Ed. note: This is true. However, in the interest of full and transparent disclosure, I did not leave KPMG on my own (although I did have the day picked). A very nice partner in the New York office told me I was leaving before I could put in my notice. 

We have a special request from someone preparing for sit-downs at Ernst & Young:

Any chance of an open thread for Big 4 Advisory compensation? Year end performance roundtables are going on at Black & Yellow; would be nice to get some ammo for negotiating before they make the comp decision.Earlier:Comp Watch '12: At Least One Ernst & Young Partner Is Throwing Numbers AroundPromotion and Bonus Watch '12: Here's a Confidential Guide for PwC's Performance Review ProcessComp Watch '12: Sizing Up the Big 4

 

Tax chairman: More work coming on temporary provisions [The Hill]
[Dave] Camp [R-MI] and [Pat] Tiberi [R-OH] have said they are taking a more methodical look at tax extenders, as they try to lay the groundwork for comprehensive tax reform. Tiberi told reporters on Wednesday that House Republicans hoped to have a legislative solution on tax extenders in the months to come. “If extenders are beneficial and are helping the economy, then they should be seriously considered,” Camp will say Thursday at a conference hosted by the Federal Policy Group and Baker and Hostetler. “On the other hand, if an extender has outlived its value, and if it is not producing the economic benefits it once was, then we need to determine whether there is merit in continuing that provision.” 

Leaders from large accounting firms bullish but monitoring regulation, complexity, human capital [JofA]
“If it enhances audit quality, we ought to be for it,” said John Veihmeyer, chairman and CEO of KPMG LLP. He said he worries some of the measures under discussion by the PCAOB and European Commission would not improve audit quality and would have unintended consequences, including a level of regulation and second-guessing that would create barriers to attracting and retaining top talent to accounting.

Obama Proposes New Tax Credit for Small Businesses That Hire [YTB/NYT]
Under the White House proposal, which the president previewed in a video address over the weekend, a company would get credit against income taxes worth up to 10 percent of the increase in total wages in 2012, which could come either in the form of salaries for new hires or raises. A company that increased its payroll by $4 million would see a $400,000 income tax credit. The tax credit is capped at $500,000 to make it more valuable to smaller companies. And the White House specifically targets middle-income earners by limiting the proposal to the top wage that is subject to Social Security tax, $110,100. “Unlike the House Republican proposal,” the White House said in a news release outlining the tax, “the president’s proposal ensures that companies that offer raises only to already well-paid executives would be ineligible for the tax relief.”

Pinterest Raises $100 Million With $1.5 Billion Valuation [WSJ]
The funding is led by Japanese e-commerce site Rakuten Inc., with Pinterest's existing venture-capital investors such as Andreessen Horowitz, FirstMark Capital and Bessemer Venture Partners also participating, said the people familiar with the matter. Pinterest was last valued at $200 million in a funding round late last year. Pinterest chose Rakuten to lead the funding round because of the Japanese company's global presence and how it can help the start-up both enhance its product and expand internationally, said one of the people.

Former Bakery Accountant Accused Of Stealing More Than $235K [CBS]
Ligia Baciu was rolling in the dough because she thought she kneaded things like an engagement ring, fertility treatments, and an Audi.

KPMG Centre posted for June foreclosure auction [DBJ]
KPMG Centre, a 34-story, 828,000-square-foot office tower at 717 N. Harwood St. in downtown Dallas, has been posted for the June foreclosure auction. This is the second month in a row that KPMG Centre has been posted for foreclosure. The downtown skyscraper has $64 million in listed debt, even though it's appraised for $44 million, according to data from Addison-based Foreclosure Listing Service Inc.

Ken Salgado Joins the Orange County Office of PwC US as Assurance Partner [PwC]
Kenny comes way of Moss Adams. Local man protests restaurant's all-you-can-eat policy [TMJ4]At 6'6" and 350 lbs, Bill Wisth admits he's a big guy who can pack it away more than most.  And he wants one restaurant to make all-you-can-eat, all he can eat too. "It's false advertising," said Wisth to TODAY'S TMJ4. Wisth has a beef with the all-you-can-eat fish fry at Chuck's Place.  He was there Friday when the restaurant cut him off after he ate a dozen pieces. "Well, we asked for more fish and they refused to give us any more fish," recalled Wisth. The restaurant says it was running out of fish and patience; arguing Bill has been a problem customer before.  They sent him on his way with another eight pieces, but that still wasn't enough. He was so fired up, he called the police.  "I think that people have to stand up for consumers," said Wisth.

 

As was noted last week, Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin renounced his U.S. citizenship, according to an IRS report. Some people speculated that the cause for this GTFOOTUSA was the savings in federal income tax because, as you may have heard, the Facebook is going public and ES is probably going to do okay when this thing goes down. Bloomberg crunched some numbers earlier today to determine just how much Eddie would be saving and HEY! it's quite a bit!

Facebook Inc. (FB) co-founder Eduardo Saverin will save at least $67 million in federal income taxes by dropping U.S. citizenship, according to a Bloomberg analysis of the company’s stock price. Those savings will keep growing if Facebook’s shares increase. [...] Bloomberg calculated the $67 million figure by applying the 15 percent U.S. capital gains rate to the approximate $448 million spread between the two values. Bloomberg’s methodology was reviewed by Robert Willens, an independent tax adviser based in New York.

Despite Mr. Willens checking the 'Berg's work, Saverin spokesman Tom Goodman DID NOT CARE FOR THIS assertion because A) the numbers are bullshit and B) his boss had much better reasons for moving to Singapore than $67 million:

“The calculations and assumptions are not only erroneous, they also further perpetuate the false impression that tax was the reason behind Eduardo’s decision,” Goodman said, declining to cite specific errors. “His motive had nothing to do with tax and everything to do with his desire to live and work in Singapore.”

Got it? Because if he was leaving on account of taxes, he wouldn't be able to set foot on these red, white, and blue shores EVER AGAIN. Can you imagine? He'd have to settle for his own private island in the shape of the U.S. Or whatever mega-billionaires spend their money on.

Facebook’s Saverin May Save $67 Million on U.S. Tax Bill [Bloomberg]
Buh-Bye [TPM]

To our knowledge, Dr. Phil hasn't taken up the Deloitte CEO Twitter torch since he replaced Jim Quigley, so you'll excuse us if we take this comment from Salzberg's talk at Brooklyn College as a little disingenuous: 

During the meeting, Salzberg advised students on their careers and answered questions about professional advancement, such as how students can use social media for career purposes. “Social media is here to stay, and we have to adapt,” he said, describing an internal program Deloitte uses to support live chats between its employees. “You have to find a way to make social media to work for you.”Sure, there are other forms of social media that BS could be engaging, but Twitter seems like a natural fit, given the firm's history. We're not asking for the moon here. Some Instagrams and a Foursquare check-in from Davos would do us fine.  [via BC]

Last week we presented you with the worst farewell email committed to...err, email. At a shade over 3,000 words, I was forced to submit myself to the Clockwork Orange eye-opener just to get through the damn thing. There were many other objectionable attributes mentioned that we won't rehash here, but I got the sense that the lion's share of you agreed with my contention that it was a sorry excuse for a workplace good-bye, even though I only published less than 10% of the email. As happens from time to time, the subject of our story reached out to us, pleading to have the story removed, realizing the error of his ways. I denied this request because, contrary to popular belief, I do have a few shreds of integrity left. BUT! I did offer the author the opportunity to expand on his story so that we may better understand his motives behind his opus. After a couple polite re-requests, including bribing us with beer, he finally agreed to speak to us at length, which we've presented here: 

Going Concern: So, this farewell email. What inspired you to write it? Did you script the videos yourself? Ever consider editing it for length? Did your wife ever wonder what you were doing?Dude Who Wrote the Worst Farewell Email Ever: Since I wrote the e-mail more than a year ago, I don't know the answer to any of these questions. I am confident that I did not anticipate some slapdick getting ahold of it more than a year later and forwarding it to the only public forum that is read by every public accounting professional under the age of 30.  He/she goes on a very short list along with Gilbert Gottfried, any Kardashian, the guy who invented BBW porn, the cop who arrested me in college for pissing in a McDonalds drive through and anyone who has openly disparaged Neil Diamond of people I wouldn't feel bad about pushing down a flight of stairs. GC: That cop was just doing his/her job. How many people did you subject this thing to?DWWTWFEE: Again, I can't remember but I suspect less than 50.  Certainly somewhere south of the 10,000 or so people that have recently read at least part of it. GC: Did it ever occur to you that people not read it? I mean, it's like the War and Peace of farewell emails.DWWTWFEE: I like to think of it as The Notebook of farewell e-mails. Except instead of a little old lady with Alzheimer's, it's a 35 year-old male with stress-induced anxiety and cholesterol high enough to kill any farm animal. And instead of dying at the end, I'm just saying a long goodbye.  Although I'm sure that EY would start recruiting from the University of Phoenix before they hired me back, I did like it there. The fact that I have managed to now associate EY to at least two less than flattering mass communications is purely unintentional I assure you. GC: I'm sure Jim Turley forgives you. Anyway, what was this prank that you pulled on the intern? Spare no details. DWWTWFEE: I sent the intern to the office to find a box of tickmarks. It was hilarious. (hint: there is no such thing as a box of tickmarks) GC: You lose points on originality. Any plans for your next farewell email? DWWTWFEE: It will probably be more of a speech, and if I see anyone recording it I will take their phone/camera and drop it in a pitcher of beer, then that person goes on my shortlist (see above). With regard to the rest of my original e-mail that everyone seems to be so interested in, as you've so graciously pointed out, its long and essentially more of the same. Posting it would only incite more public hatred and would likely crash your server.

Greece Teeters as Talks Fail [WSJ]
After a week of fruitless negotiations, Greece's political parties couldn't agree on a governing coalition, leaving the country in political limbo until new elections next month. The delay could deprive Athens of badly needed international aid and deepen Greece's economic depression. In a potent sign of Greeks' rising anxiety, depositors withdrew €700 million ($898 million) from local banks on Monday alone, according to the country's national bank—a significant escalation in capital flight from the country.

Facebook Increases IPO Shares [WSJ]
In case you still plan to get in on this. Facebook’s Anti-Groupon Accounting [CNBC]
Facebook’s payment network is its largest source of revenue after advertising. Primarily through selling credits for virtual goods for use in social games like Farmville, Facebook earned $557 million last year through its payments network. What’s most surprising to a cynic like me is how honestly Facebook accounts for revenues from the payment network. There’s no accounting trickery going on in that $557 million figure. Grant Thornton expands footprint in Western Canada with addition of Winnipeg-based BCCA LLP [GT]
FYI. SEC Recommends Changes in Accounting for Derivatives [AT]
In a letter dated May 11 to Dan Palomaki, chairman of the Accounting Policy Committee at the International Swaps and Derivatives Association, SEC chief accountant James Kroeker said the SEC has asked FASB to examine making changes in some of the standards. “We have requested that the FASB consider the accounting for a change in counterparties when a derivative contract is designated as a hedging instrument in a hedge relationship as a part of their existing project on financial instruments,” he wrote. He CC’ed FASB chair Leslie Seidman in the letter, along with Public Company Accounting Oversight Board chairman James Doty. Ernst & Young gets new Memphis partner [MDN]
Glenn Mitchell is taking over as the managing partner of Ernst & Young’s Memphis office from retiring partner Bill Drummond, effective July 1. Meet the Meeting Killers [WSJ]
When it comes time for a meeting, co-workers can be deadly. Discussions get hijacked. Bad ideas fall like blunt objects. Long-winded colleagues consume all available oxygen, killing good ideas by asphyxiation. [...] [One exec] sometimes puts an Elmo doll in the center of the meeting table and tells participants, "Anytime anybody in the session thinks we're getting off track, pick up the Elmo doll." This allows co-workers to express frustration without interrupting, she says. Why Wrigley Field Must Be Destroyed [WSJ]
Okay, North Siders, try to keep it civil: "Having not won a World Series since 1908, and having last appeared on that stage in 1945—a war year in which the professional leagues were still populated by has-beens and freaks—the Chicago Cubs must contemplate the only solution that might restore the team to glory: Tear down Wrigley Field. Destroy it. Annihilate it. Collapse it with the sort of charges that put the Sands Hotel out of its misery in Vegas. Implosion or explosion, get rid of it. That pile of quaintness has to go. Not merely the structure, but the ground on which it stands."  

Many of you have suffered social indignity at one time or another while at work. Spilling food on yourself. Wardrobe malfunctions. Moments of clutzitude. The blood rushes to your face and stays there for undetermined amount of time, your co-workers snicker, and talk behind your back for a while, but eventually you get over it. Usually because you do something else embarrassing.

Over at Grantland yesterday, there was a list of the most embarrassing moments to happen in the workplace and naturally the top spot went to an accountant. It comes from "Bobby" in Birmingham, Alabama who readily admits that he "fit[s] the 'ill-equipped to deal with people' generality to exquisite perfection." 

Bobby can take it from here:[M]y first job out of college was working for a fairly renowned public accounting firm in Birmingham, Alabama. Within my first month on the job, I had already been bestowed with the nickname “Creep-A-Saurus Rex” for my general out-of-the norm, off-putting social behavior. This seems like sufficient transition to state that "My Worst Workplace Embarassment” took place in the men’s restroom. I had just finished using the facilities, and washing my hands. As I was drying my digits, I somehow lost balance while standing in place. It was probably due to the transition of wearing flip-flops 90 percent of the time in college to wearing tasseled business shoes at my new job that caused the incident, but I digress. Suddenly, I find myself in one of those unnecessarily long slipping and falling motions (like when a cartoon character slips on a banana peel) and am heading headfirst into the entrance/exit door of the restroom. So you’re probably thinking the thrilling conclusion of this story is that I ran my noggin into a closed door and concussed myself alone in the bathroom during my first month on the job. Well, that would have been about 40 times more preferable to what actually happened. You see, at the exact same moment in time that I was stumbling face-first toward the door, the partner over our entire audit division opens the door to walk into the restroom. I can only imagine his sheer terror as all 6-feet of me is engaged in what would have had to have appeared to be a headbutt battering ram aimed directly at his crotch. So, I headbutt my boss’s, boss’s boss in the groin … cute story, right? If only I had been so lucky. Instead, I miraculously regain my balance centimeters away from his zipper. I have replayed this moment over in my head thousands of times since the incident, and still haven’t thought of a smooth way to have addressed the situation with my now-bracing for a shot to the junk superior. However, what I concocted to say ended up being without a doubt the worst possible combination of eight words in the English language to ever articulate in a men’s restroom. Looking up from his zipper, I stammer: “Sorry about that, got a little excited there.”Naturally, we must know which "fairly renowned public accounting firm" this is, so if you are or know Bobby. Drop us a line. Likewise, if you're an accountant with an embarrassing story from the hallowed walls of your own firm. Email us. If we get some good ones, we'll post them here and all have a good laugh with you.

Considering the quality acting in the first Atlas Shrugged film, this scene with GGN will be a step up:

Norquist, the president of Washington-based Americans for Tax Reform, first shot an office scene, handing a three-ring binder to heroine Dagny Taggart’s assistant. Easy enough, it sounds. Then producers suggested a second role. For a scene where Dagny and Hank Rearden walked along the street discussing the decline of society, they put Norquist in the background as some kind of down-and-out businessman, slumped on a stone bench, a bottle of wine in his lap. They roughed up his face with makeup, and messed up his hair, but he wore his own suit.

Grover Norquist takes role (as a wino) in next ‘Atlas Shrugged’ movie [TRS/WaPo]

The Hill reports that jolly orange giant John Boehner is speaking at the Peter G. Peterson Foundation today and he's telling the crowd that when Congress finally gets around to tax reform, they'll be coupled with an extension of the Bush tax cuts.

“Any sudden tax hike would hurt our economy, so this fall — before the election — the House of Representatives will vote to stop the largest tax increase in American history,” the Speaker’s prepared remarks say.

That's all well and good, especially if you like tax cuts, but there is the small matter of getting the Senate to go along with what the House offers up. Anyone still taking in oxygen knows that this is not the case, but Boehner seems to be new to this corner of the universe:

“The Ways and Means Committee will work out the details, but the bottom line is: If we do this right, this will be the last time we ever have to confront the uncertainty of expiring tax rates,” Boehner said.

Or, "If we manage to develop a perfect compromise on one of the most difficult and polarizing policy issues facing our nation, we'll never have to worry about fixing it ever, ever, ever again." Got it.

Boehner: House will link tax reform, Bush cuts [OTM/The Hill]

We managed to get through tax season without any bomb/white powder/crazy man in a plane incidents at IRS locations (that we know of). That's the good news. The bad news is that anti-IRS forces never rest. Why? Because crazy never rests. Yesterday, the Service's Fresno location fell prey to a "white powder scare," which has become an all-too-common method of bringing out the hazmats. It's been reported that the "caustic substance" found in the envelope was "capable of causing burns and skin irritation," but luckily no one was hurt. What's most interesting about this particular report from this Fox affiliate is the mentioning of past threats to the IRS' Fresno location:

 Last February, employees opened a package in the downtown mailroom to find a box full of poop.

Since this event is well over a year old, details about the poop in question are not immediately known, but the elevation of tactics from feces use to some sort of Ajax-like substance should not be taken lightly.

[via KMPH] 

Yesterday morning we linked to a little story about Francesca Holdings Corp. CFO Gene Morphis getting fired for "improperly communicat[ing] company information through social media." The Journal picked it up later in the day with details on some of this social media activity that we thought we'd share with you

Board meeting.Good numbers=Happy Board.

— theoldcfo (@theoldcfo) March 7, 2012

Seems harmless, right? Here's Exhibit B:

Earnings released.Conference call completed.How do you like me now Mr. Shortie?

— theoldcfo (@theoldcfo) March 14, 2012

Perhaps this sad attempt at trash talking was the last straw? These tweets along with Facebook status postings going back to December and a blog that were kept by Morphis were enough to send him packing:

"We are disappointed by this situation but we expect our executives to comply with all company policies," said Greg Brenneman, chairman of Francesca's board of directors and the chairman of private-equity firm CCMP Capital, in a statement.

Let this be a lesson to all of you who are happily kvetching about your jobs online.  

Facebook and Twitter Postings Cost CFO His Job [WSJ via NYM]

It's that time of year again when lobbyists dust off their agendas and head to Washington to represent the voice of America's CPAs and their clients for the spring meeting of AICPA Governing Council. Once again I'll be covering the festivities however since hardly any of you actually care about legislative news or anything serious that doesn't directly involve your paychecks, I'll be covering Council for AccountingWEB instead.

For some bizarre reason, we're hitting the Hill Wednesday morning after tonight's reception so I guess that means not getting totally hammered and wandering home on the green line like last year. Boo.

All the big players will be there of course; Barry Melancon, Greg Anton, John Veihmeyer is on some panel with other not-quite-Big 4-CEOs (oops did I say that out loud?), my secret crush Ernie Almonte will be talking about Horizons 2025, Doug Shulman will be there on the farewell tour... you get the point. Oh and don't forget Jim Doty yapping about the future of financial and business reporting from a standards-setting and regulatory perspective. Come on, you wish you could spend this week listening to that. Go on, hate on me.

And let's not forget this is also the AICPA 125th anniversary celebration which I'm sure is going to be a blast. Although I'm sure my boyfriend looks adorably square in a tuxedo, we decided not to attend the black tie gala. I do have a mole on the ground though and will let you all know if anything interesting goes down.

Anyway, if anyone has the least bit of interest in this stuff, get in touch and I'll get you what you're looking for otherwise see you kids on the other side. Oh, and if any of you are in town for this, feel free to hit me up, a minimum of one beer is on me if you're cool.

John Snow: 'Taxmaggedon' Is a Real Threat [WSJ]
[W]e face that real prospect, as prominent proposals by the administration would triple the top dividend tax rate to nearly 45%, while doubling the top rate on capital gains to 30%. If one intended to cripple job creation, depress stock prices, and lower the value of retirement savings for working Americans, these proposals would be just what we should choose.

HP loses $190 million tax case against IRS [Reuters]
Hewlett-Packard Co. on Monday lost a battle with the U.S. Internal Revenue Service for more than $190 million in tax refunds tied to a Dutch tax shelter designed by the derivatives arm of American International Group. The ruling turns a spotlight on an aggressive tax-cutting strategy created last decade by AIG Financial Products and bankrolled by several European banks. The strategy involved trading derivatives with the aim of generating capital losses and foreign tax credits for large corporations, like HP, which then used them to try to lower their U.S. tax bills.

Job Seekers Find Accounting Beats Psychology [BBW]
Accounting student Anne Rose will already have a job waiting when she receives her degree next week. Psychology major Echo Presgraves, another member of the Class of 2012, won’t be so fortunate. Rose, 22, credits her choice of major as paving her way. She signed a contract with PricewaterhouseCoopers LLP before she even began her senior year at Villanova University’s School of Business in Pennsylvania, after completing an internship last summer with the audit and consulting firm. “The major obviously has a huge role in it, compared to some of my friends that are marketing majors who still are struggling to find full-time employment right now,” said Rose, who is from Dallas, Texas, in a phone interview between final exams.

Is the IFRS Rhetoric Machine Running Out of Gas? [The Accounting Onion]
Tom Selling: "Everyone knows that GAAP/IFRS convergence has been a spectacular failure; yet the Big Four, the AICPA, maybe a few mega corporations, too-big-to-fail banks and the EU (albeit ambivalently) are continuing to prod the "politicians and regulators" to the point where many are wishing this whole IFRS thing would go away on its own." Groupon shares jump on upbeat Q1 results [Reuters]
Groupon Inc (GRPN.O) shares jumped 22 percent in premarket trade on Tuesday after the daily deals company posted its first quarterly profit as it signed up more customers and merchants. "While billings, revenue, margins, and guidance all met or exceeded, signs of accelerated North American revenue shows that the company's technology efforts around personalization and, to a lesser extent, mobile and rewards, are paying off," Evercore Partners analyst Ken Sena wrote in a note.

PwC diversity chief on advancing diverse talent [HBJ]
“They really tackle the things they will confront working for the firm,” [Chief Diversity Officer Maria] Moats said. “It may be the first time they work in corporate America … so it really helps them understand what to expect from corporate culture.” When Moats — a first generation college grad and an Hispanic in corporate America — began her career, she wore a purple suit during her first week, and later discovered it wasn’t the best choice for banking in 1990. Those are the things PwC’s programs try to teach new employees who have never worked in a big corporation, and the firm tracks their advancement within the company, she said. Brown Warns Californians: Taxes or Cuts [WSJ]
California Gov. Jerry Brown laid out a revised budget plan that relies on deeper spending cuts and higher taxes to bridge a projected state deficit that has widened to $15.7 billion from $9.2 billion since January. The Democratic governor said Monday he had no choice but to cut even deeper into social services to help close a budget gap that has shot up due to lower-than-expected tax revenue and delays and court-ordered impediments to spending cuts. Mr. Brown proposes to nearly double spending cuts to $8.3 billion for fiscal year 2012-13 from a January estimate that $4.2 billion of reductions were needed. Mr. Brown warned that if voters in November don't pass his proposal to temporarily increase income taxes on California's wealthiest residents and the state sales tax, already-strapped elementary and high schools would sustain billions of dollars of additional cuts. Mr. Brown hopes to raise about $6 billion of new revenue through his tax-increase measure. "Schools will suffer," Mr. Brown said at a news conference in Sacramento. "It won't be pretty." Chairman of Best Buy Resigns After an Internal Audit [NYT]
The founder of Best Buy, Richard M. Schulze, has resigned as chairman after an internal investigation released on Monday said that he knew about a former chief executive’s improper relationship with an employee but did not report it to the board. he former chief executive, Brian J. Dunn, who abruptly resigned in April, “violated company policy by engaging in an extremely close personal relationship with a female employee that negatively impacted the work environment,” the report by the company’s audit committee said. Mr. Dunn, 51, is married with children, and the employee in question was a 29-year-old female subordinate who still works at Best Buy. Mr. Schulze, 71, the chairman, learned about the affair in December 2011, the report said, when an executive gave him a written statement from another employee with specific allegations about Mr. Dunn’s behavior. Mr. Schulze then confronted Mr. Dunn, who denied any inappropriate contact. “Following this conversation, the chairman did not share information about the conversation, the C.E.O.’s denial, or any of the related allegations with the audit committee, the general counsel, the head of human resources, the chief ethics officer or any other board member,” the report said. Craig Dershowitz Of NYC Spends $60,000 In Custody Battle Over Dog Knuckles [CBS]
Craig Dershowitz has spent more than $60,000 in lawyers’ fees trying to win custody of his dog Knuckles after his ex-girlfriend took the pooch to California. Dershowitz, 34, said he considers Knuckles to be his son, and that although he’s gone through his life savings, he said it’s worth it. In papers filed earlier this year in Manhattan state Supreme Court, Dershowitz said ex-girlfriend Sarah Brega “kidnapped” Knuckles after they broke up. Brega said Dershowitz gave her the puggle pup — half pug, half beagle. Dershowitz started the website Rescue Knux to raise money for the custody fight. For $250, contributors can play fetch with Knuckles. For $10,000, Legends of Graffiti will do a giant, personalized mural.