Eli Manning Is Determined To Destroy Everything He Touches, Like a Washington State Car Dealership For $420,000
Look, I’m not much of a businessman. As a kid, my lemonade stand was shut down for egregious environmental violations. In high school, I was removed as Treasurer of the senior class after I got bilked out of our prom fund by the deposed Prince of Nigeria. And as an adult, my great American novel about a futuristic theme park where dinosaurs are brought to live though advanced cloning techniques infringed upon numerous copyrights.
But even I’m not dumb enough to bet $420,000 on Eli Manning. Not this year.
That’s essentially what the good people at Jet Chevrolet, a local car dealership in Washington State, did last weekend by promising to give away $420,000 in cash if the hometown Seattle Seahawks shut out the impotent NY Giants. And as Gregg Easterbrook would write in the most insufferable way possible, “Verily, it came to pass” as the Seahawks blanked the Giants 23-0 courtesy of yet another abysmal Manning performance.
The contest worked like so: if you cruised through the dealership just to snag some free Krispy Kremes, you were entitled to one entry. If you actually bucked up and bought a car, you received 100 entries. If the Seahawks could hold the Giants scoreless on Sunday, 12 entries would be pulled and each of the dozen winners would receive $35,000. So here we are.
Seeing as though I’m a tax guy, you’ve probably guessed where this is heading. If you are one of the lucky winners, how much of the $35,000 are you walking away with?
You might think that because you didn’t actually earn the cash – rather, you were merely selected at random – the winnings wouldn’t be subject to income tax. But as usual, you’d be wrong.
Section 74 of the Code provides that in general, prizes and awards are included in taxable income. There’s really only one exception: you can exclude such prizes and awards if they are made “primarily in recognition of religious, charitable, scientific, educational, artistic, literary or civic achievement.” But even then, in order to exclude the prize or award, there are three additional requirements:
You must have been selected without any action on your part to enter the contest or proceeding;
You can’t be required to render any future services as a condition to receiving the prize or award; and
The prize or award must be transferred by the payor to a governmental unit or a charitable organization.
If you’re wondering who meets these lofty standards for exclusion, think of a Nobel Prize winner. They’re selected by the Nobel Committee for their achievements and through no effort of their own, and they are not required to provide any services in order to receive the prize. Provided the winner instructs the committee to contribute the prize purse to Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle, the cash is excluded from his or her taxable income.
Of course, winning the Nobel Peace Prize is a far cry from pulling in $35K because you drove off in a shiny new Volt. So for the dozen victors of the Chevy giveaway, they will be paying tax at a marginal rate ranging from 10% to 39.6%. To soften the blow come April, the dealership will likely withhold 25% upon payment, leaving the lucky winners with $26,250 after tax.
Just in case any of the dozen winners find their newfound winnings burning a hole in their pocket, it should be noted that the Giants are 10 point underdogs this week at Detroit. Manning’s got to be due, right?*
*That’s not how gambling works. Manning is not due.
A tipster alerted us to the fact that there is a Deloitte auditor hiding in the "Cell Phone Crashing at the Airport" video that you've probably seen shared on your Facebook newsfeed no less than, what, 50 times today? See if you can spot her.
Inevitably, one of you is going to be like "OMG!!1!!! I WORK WITH THAT GIRL" so no need to out her, PLEASE. If you must, I guess there are way worse things to be outed for on GC, especially since she was an innocent victim of this guy's IRL trolling and took it quite well. According to the tipster, she is "literally the nicest and most genuine person you will ever meet." Good thing, because if this guy did that to me at the airport I would probably punch him in the balls.
Well done, nice auditor lady!
The other night I was listening to Episode #2 of the Thrivecast (which I highly recommend) with Jason Blumer and Greg Kyte. At one point in the podcast they were talking about innovation in the accounting profession and Jason made a comment that struck me:
"The PCAOB is new and they have a slew of regulations. Cool. I got a new freakin' job that's pretty awesome, but... that's professional welfare".
That's what I want to talk about today. When I was in university, I knew a woman who was previously on welfare and she told me a story. One day she went to get food stamps and the line was extra long, and people were waiting for up to two hours. While she waited, an angry man stood up on a chair and yelled, "This is crazy, I'm about to go get a job!”
In another realm, a good friend of mine is currently a "big brother" with the organization Big Brothers, Big Sisters and his "little" (the child to whom he’s assigned) has a mother who sells her food stamps to pay for iPhone bills and drugs. Per the "little," it's not just his mom who does this, but everyone he knows.
While I don't think many CPA firms are looking for drugs or struggling to pay their iPhone bills, Jason is right. The increase in government regulations, largely after 2002, has created hundreds of thousands of new jobs. Has it helped? No. Handouts never do.
In fact, a mere six years after the job creations began, the financial crisis of 2008 occurred, wherein many massive corporations that had reported clean financial statements the prior year went belly up [Ed. note: I know this seems like an eternity ago but hopefully all of you remember what got us there so you can keep us from getting there again while you are out there defending the integrity of capital markets like the number-crunching superheroes you are]. Thank goodness for the SEC and PCAOB. Where would we be without them?
The worst part is that everyone knows it's wrong, but nobody is talking about it. Most people just laugh, maybe complain about the work (even though these organizations charge high fees for non-VALUE added services), and move on. For example, Andy Fastow, Former Enron CFO, gave a speech at a conference in Las Vegas for the Association of Certified Fraud Examiners earlier this year and said:
"Several of you have commented to me that your organization has grown dramatically over the past 10 years. And they thank me. They said no other individual has been more responsible for the growth of your industry than me. So, you're welcome."
The crowd roared.
"It's not something I'm proud of."
He is right, it is not something to be proud of. In my own experience, paper-chasing under the guise of preventing and detecting fraud is putting a huge strain and burden on the profession. Many CPA firms that serve public clients are just like the man standing in line for food stamps mentioned above. The firms do what they're told by the PCAOB, provide some new service, bill for stuff that makes no sense (and adds no value), and complain.
So what's the answer? Well, when you tell people that you don't think welfare has helped the poor, often their immediate reaction is, "Well do you just want people to starve on the streets?"
Similarly, when you tell people that you don't think the increase in government regulations has added VALUE to clients, financial markets, and stakeholders of the profession, they almost always respond, “Well do you just want another Enron to occur?”
Hasn't it already? Not to mention the pending (ongoing?) financial disaster that is the U.S. Government itself.
So what do we do? I don't know… and that's exactly the point. Nobody knows. Certainly a central planning or regulatory authority doesn't know what to do, as I thought we realized a long time ago. What does work are hungry, creative, innovative entrepreneurs who are trying different things based on their available resources, facts, circumstances, and client needs (which, in case the PCAOB didn't know, varies by industry, company, department, and individual person).
Let’s not forgot the most valuable currency the profession has: its reputation. I think it's time we go back to that. Rather than being worried about the regulator we're pleasing, let's get back to the fundamentals of capitalism.
No industry ever thrived on its ability submit and do what it was told, at least not in the long run. The public accounting profession is no exception.
Somewhat related but kind of a side note: when did video holiday cards become a thing?
Anyway, here is Grant Thornton's entry for this holiday season. At a full 17 seconds, it clocks in as the shortest we've seen yet because ain't no one got time for a 2 minute holiday card video.
Sadly, I can't embed it (gee, wonder why) but you can find it here.
Dynamic Christmas sweaters not included.
Accounting News Roundup: PwC Gives Herbalife the 'All Clear'; Feedback for FASAB, Anyone?; NFL's Tax-exempt Status | 12.17.13
Herbalife Says 'No Material Changes' Found in Reaudit [WSJ]
PwC has wrapped up its reaudits of Herbalife and all's good in the hood. Hedge fund manager Bill Ackman, who's long claimed that HLF is a pyramid scheme, is not impressed: "In a statement Monday afternoon, Pershing Square [Ackman's firm] said it is 'not the role of Herbalife's auditor to determine if the company is a pyramid scheme,' and maintained that the company 'will be shut down by regulators.' "
KPMG recruits Olympics diversity expert [Accountancy Age]
For once, an article that discusses diversity is lauding numbers achieved by a so-called expert, "KPMG has recruited Stephen Frost, the mastermind behind diversifying the Olympics, to lead its own inclusion efforts. Head of diversity and inclusion at the London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (LOCOG), Frost achieved high levels of inclusion across the 200,000 staff members involved in the Olympics. This diversity included, 9% disabled, 46% female, 5% LGBT staff and 40% minority group staff. The Paralympic games also saw large numbers of diverse groups participate."
Georgia Tea Party Takes on Republicans Over Stadium Taxes [Bloomberg]
Oh, a taxpayer-funded baseball stadium doesn't have people excited?! GO ON: "In the days after the Atlanta Braves announced their intention to make a 13-mile, taxpayer-assisted relocation to suburban Cobb County, residents there flooded Cobb officials with 142 pages of angry e-mails, almost seven times as many as the county received in support. Tea Party supporters clogged county telephone lines with calls complaining about at least $368 million in tax-supported bonds Cobb has pledged to back a $672 million new Braves stadium. Opponents last week filed a lawsuit in county court challenging the legality of the funding plan."
Should the NFL Lose Its Tax-Exempt Status? [MoJo]
Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn thinks so and an anti-corruption group called Rootstrikers has his back. "Over the weekend, Rootstrikers blasted out an email urging people to sign a petition in support of Sen. Tom Coburn's (R-Okla.) PRO Sports Act, which would ban big sports leagues from receiving tax-exempt status. 'You know the NFL as the National Football League,' says the Rootstrikers email. 'But the IRS knows them better as the Nonprofit Football League—that's because the NFL has not paid any taxes since 1966 and average Americans are left paying higher taxes to make up for that lost revenue. Senator [Tom] Coburn is trying to change that, and we support his endeavor.' Coburn's bill would ban pro sports leagues with more than $10 million in revenue from receiving tax-exempt status."
FASAB seeks feedback on annual report [JofA]
Budget Deal Heads for Senate Approval as More Republicans Give Support [NYT]
Don't be fooled! There's plenty of dysfunction to go around!
Sounds like someone I know. "Mamoru Demizu, 48, is suspected of breaking into houses to steal cash and jewels on 32 separate occasions. He told police that he stole things to come up with the money to feed scores of his feline friends, spending up to 25,000 yen ($250) a day, an officer said. 'He said he felt happiest when he rubbed his cheek against cats,' the officer said."
It's probably not legal for the government to spy on your phone calls, just FYI [Reuters]
Lotto fever! [USA Today]
A former UBS banker who may have helped hide $20 billion from the IRS is in court [Seattle P-I]
You probably heard Google bought some new toys... second YouTube video down is all you need in life. If you don't find it hilarious, you are not a human being. [ABC]
GM is sorry the government lost money on saving them but, meh, happens bro. [USA Today]
Volunteer firefighters and Obamacare, who knew this was a thing? It is the IRS' fault! [Watchdog]
IFRS is officially cool [economia]
HEY GUYS! FASB says Bitcoin is OCBOA. We look forward to ASC 1Fh57dAqyYYwaQVdA7a9qsKfiukBbt31G3 any day now. Oh and if you click over to the BNA post, I warn you it is a horribly-written piece of trash. [Bloomberg BNA]
Slovenia to pay banks for bad loans with short-term bonds Slovenia announced on Thursday that its banks would be paid about 1.6 billion euros for transferring their most troubled loans to the bad bank. Torbjörn Mansson, head of the bad bank, told journalists on Monday banks would be paid with a combination of two and three year bonds. "We are structuring the bond that it should be acceptable in the system, banks can use it to secure liquidity, fund new businesses," he said. Banks can pledge high quality bonds with the European Central Bank in exchange for cash, which they can then lend. [Reuters]
The main reason for anyone here to read ATL is not for the razor-sharp wit nor timely commentary on the profession of law. No, it's to make all of you feel better about your own miserable lives. Exhibit ZZ:
A person has placed an ad on the Los Angeles Craigslist board with the subject line: “I will literally kill myself if I don’t have a job by New Year’s.” The lawyer then goes on to explain his professional experience and to express his willingness to do anything that carries with it a salary or hourly wage.
I’m not at all sure that threatening extreme action is the best way to secure a position as a trusted advisor capable of exercising discretion under pressure. And I think that history has shown that things like hunger strikes are more effective at engendering sympathy than straight-up threats of self-martyrdom.
But it is a tough market out there, and I suppose this is one way to get at least a few employers to give you a second look….
The ad reads as follows, including an edit that shows just how tired this guy is of stupid advice on getting a job when there ARE NO JOBS:
I will literally kill myself if I don't have a job by New Year's (Los Angeles)
I am an experienced transactional attorney. I am smart, capable, and have a great work ethic. I do not have any any litigation experience, but I am willing to work hard, and have no doubt I can learn that or any other area of law quickly if given the opportunity. I've lost just about all faith in humanity, so I sincerely doubt that anyone will give me the chance I need, but this is my last chance. I will take any job that pays a salary or hourly wage. . .attorney, paralegal, contract administrator, assistant, receptionist, anything. I am available for interviews immediately. Thank you.
Edit: I appreciate people contacting me with well wishes, or offering advice on how to find a job, but trust me, I have made every effort any of you have recommended to find a job, all with no luck. I am an extrovert with no friends or family, so I will be homeless and hungry if I don't have a job by January 1. Please do not contact me unless you are hiring. Thank you.
Points for creativity but as Elie pointed out, threatening self harm is a terrible way to get hired. Hopefully this guy isn't serious and is just trying to stand out from the pack.
Good luck, guy.
Ever wonder what happens to all your "work" stuff you keep in the cloud after you leave your company? Debra Schatzki found out when Weiser Capital Management -- now known as WeiserMazars Wealth Advisors, part of (you guessed it) WeiserMazars LLP -- apparently hijacked her proprietary client list from the cloud:
Manhattan Federal Judge Robert Sweet ruled that Weiser Capital Management took wealth manager Debra Schatzki's valuable business records off the cloud without her permission and locked her out of her own database — a move that could cost the company millions of dollars when damages are decided at a civil trial next month.
The valuable records included years of personal financial information for 12,300 of Schatzki's clients, including high-net-worth real estate and architecture execs.
Here's what we gather happened: Debra had her own thing going in 2007 when she joined forces with Weiser, and things were cool. She and her company BBP Wealth kept an exclusive license to the junk she kept in the cloud with SmartOffice, which included all that crap on her 12,300 clients. HER clients, HER license, HER cloud, you with us?
Then things got weird and in 2010, Weiser told Debra to GTFO. That's fine, things don't always work out but then Weiser got straight up rude, kinda like when you break up with your boyfriend and he keeps all the good stuff you left at his house. Weiser accessed Deb's info, locked her out and moved it to another cloud! In other words, poor Deb was CLOUD-NAPPED! By her own former people!
"Weiser nearly destroyed my wealth management business," she said. Clearly she took it way better than Charlie Sheen takes any perceived affront.
Weiser's lawyer thinks it's really not that big of a deal, calling it “a plain, vanilla dispute about a customer list.”
GAH. As bad as the McGladrey card was, at least they got it over with quickly. WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?
Well, that's another 24 seconds that felt like 3 hours I will never get back.
(if the Flash embed isn't working for you, you can find the card here. I warn you, though, it's bad. There are far better things you can do with 24 seconds of your life)
The Accounting World Issues a Collective Sigh as Soon Enough, We Won't Have to Talk About Revenue Recognition
Anyone else sick of this topic? Did you ever really care? Just go ahead and do what you have to do already, FIASB:
The top line on financial statements around the world is about to change.
And companies need to move quickly to determine which personnel will be responsible for implementing the new revenue recognition standard, said Dusty Stallings, CPA, a member of PwC’s national professional services group.
“Companies need to get their project management approach in place,” said Stallings, who is serving on an AICPA working group devoted to helping companies implement the standard correctly. “… Get the structure in place that you need to understand the change, and follow that change all the way through.”
Historic changes that will affect revenue recognition for virtually every company that uses U.S. GAAP or IFRS are on the verge of being put into place by FASB and the International Accounting Standards Board (IASB).
That sound you hear? It's all of us not caring at once.
We aren't sure why our pal Benjamin Bankes shared this because that weird pig-man with the slot in his head is FRUGAL, y'all:
— Benjamin Bankes (@feedthepig) December 16, 2013
Wait a second... there is no one I would ever like enough to spend $25,000 on a LEGO likeness of them. I don't think I even like myself that much and I really, really like myself.
Bennie boy, did you hit your head or something? You're supposed to promote financial literacy, not wasteful ridiculousness!
Although if I had an extra $10,000 sitting around, I'd be tempted to get my cats made in LEGO. No, nevermind, I don't even like them that much.
Accounting News Roundup: Financial Reporting Affluenza; More on the Passing of Abe Briloff; This Year's Taxes Will Give Rich People Sad | 12.16.13
Is Bigger Really Better? Not When It Comes to Financial Reporting Transparency! [GOA]
Tony Catanach found a fun little nugget while taking an axe to Morgan Stanley's recent "immaterial" correction of $9.2 billion. In SEC Staff Accounting Bulletin No. 108, he highlights "Certain registrants have proposed to the staff that allowing certain errors to remain on the balance sheet as assets or liabilities in perpetuity is an appropriate application of generally accepted accounting principles." TC reacts accordingly: "If allowing financial statement errors to go uncorrected is acceptable, can outright financial statement fabrication be far behind? Or are we already there and simply don’t know it? And if we call out big bank managers and their auditors on such behavior, how long will it be before they assert the Affluenza defense?"
Abe Briloff, an Accountant Who Saw Through the Games [Economix/NYT]
Floyd Norris eulogizes Abe Briloff: "Abe did not introduce me to accounting, or even to accounting games, but he taught me to love the role that accountants should play, and to resent those auditors who seem to think that they work for the people who hire them, not for the investors who depend on them." Here's Mr. Briloff's full New York Times obituary.
Congress turns to tax reform [Politico]
Budget deal maker Paul Ryan said on Meet the Press, "Watch the Ways and Means Committee in the first quarter of next year," leaving out, "Without holding your breath."
12 Agreements Signed to Help U.S. Fight Offshore Evasion [Bloomberg]
The offshore bank account appears to be going the way of the Dodo, "Twelve governments have reached agreement with the U.S. Treasury on easing the reporting of foreign-held bank accounts by U.S. taxpayers, part of the Internal Revenue Service’s effort to combat offshore tax evasion. The agreements will help implement the Foreign Account Tax Compliance Act, which as of July 1 will require that information about such accounts be supplied directly to the U.S. Similar accords have been reached in substance with 17 other jurisdictions, and talks on the deals are in advanced stages with many other countries, Bloomberg BNA reported."
For Top Earners, a Bigger Tax Bite This Year [NYT]
Who's looking forward to difficult conversations this busy season?! "Joe Perry, partner in charge of tax and business services at Marcum, took his analysis a step further. He looked at his firm’s 1,200 individual clients who made more than $400,000 a year — the threshold for all the highest rates, new taxes and reduced deductions to kick in. He calculated that they were looking at paying 7 percent more this year, but then he translated that into a real number: It equated to $250 million more. 'People will focus on the percentages until they see what that dollar amount is and then they’re going to be shocked,' Mr. Perry said."
KPMG sees pay and bonuses rise as UK profits jump 27% [BBC]
This sounds promising: "For the year to 30 September average pay for the 583 UK partners rose by 23% to £713,000, while the staff bonus pool rose 20% to £73m. KPMG is in what UK chairman Simon Collins said was the "first and toughest year" of a three-year turnaround plan. His pay for the year, approved by a vote of partners, was £2.42m," although I'm sure someone out there has room to complain.
Wal-Mart Employee Arrested For Shooting Co-Worker’s Car Over Award [CBS]
I suspect that the coveted honor of tweeting from the Life at Deloitte account is headed in this direction: "According to a Broward Sheriff’s Office arrest report last month’s employee of the month at a Deerfield Beach Wal-Mart store on South Military Trail had her car shot up by a co-worker who was angry after she won the award. Willie Mitchell is charged with discharging a firearm from a vehicle. The Broward Sheriff’s Office said surveillance video from a Wal-Mart parking lot shows Mitchell parking next to a co-worker’s earlier in December. A few minutes later, investigators said Mitchell rolls down a back window, fires a shot into his co-worker’s car then drives off. The co-worker was not in her vehicle at the time. BSO Spokesperson Veda Coleman-Wright said the shooting stemmed from some bad feelings after the victim won an Employee of the Month Award."
Let's welcome BDO to the Steel City, everyone. [PBT] Stop Worrying About Making the Right Decision [HBR via Jason Blumer] Here are a couple of accounting firm mergers for you. [AWEB] How to Use the Office Holiday Party to Advance Your Career [Lifehacker] Festivus Poles have been erected in Madison, Wisconsin and Tallahasse, Florida. [Mediaite]
- Has a right to possess the property and to enjoy the use, rents or profits thereof;
- Has a duty to maintain the property;
- Is responsible for insuring the property;
- Bears the property’s risk of loss;
- Is obligated to pay the property’s taxes, assessments or charges;
- Has the right to improve the property without the owner’s consent; and
- Has the right to obtain legal title at any time by paying the balance of the purchase price.2
You'd all do well to follow this example for your respective office parties this season:
— Christian Hyatt (@christianhyatt) December 13, 2013
Okay, guy on the left -- we see that you phoned it in by just opting for a Christmas tie rather than a festive pullover or cardigan but you can at least act like you enjoy these people's company. Sheesh.
It's my distinct pleasure to once again bring you the world's finest accounting scuttlebutt. We call it Open Items.
If you're superstitious, you're probably not even out of bed so I hope this motivates you to face the day whether it includes a client that resembles an axe-wielding maniac or something even more terrifying like setting foot inside a mall.
As you know, this is the place where you can discuss any news that we skipped or missed this week, to ask the career questions that are keeping you up at night, or anything else that's on your mind.
Enjoy and be sure to clean up after yourselves.
Accounting News Roundup: What If the Big 4 Aren't Too Few to Fail?; Deloitte Takes Another Hit; Opposition to More Detailed Audit Reports | 12.13.13
What would happen if the Big Four became the Big Three? [Capital Ideas]
Francine McKenna writes about a study from the University of Chicago's Joseph Gerakos and Chad Syverson that estimates the cost of a major accounting firm failure. "The researchers conclude that another failure would cost the US clients of the disappearing firm at least $1.2 billion–$1.8 billion per year in lost “consumer surplus.” That describes the net value lost by a company when forced to switch auditors, and the value a company places (if any) on an extended relationship with its audit firm." FM also writes, citing a calculation by Jim Peterson, that the "breakup threshold" for a global firm could be as low as $2.2 billion and as low as $675 million for a U.S. firm. This makes Gerakos and Syverson's study, she writes, "a lot less like theory, and more like preparation."
AmTrust Falls as GeoInvesting Challenges Accounting [Bloomberg]
GeoInvesting believes AmTrust is "taking advantage of discrepancies in U.S. and Luxembourg accounting practices to minimize losses" as well as "'assigning unrealistically high valuations to life-settlement contracts" and the company's stock price was crushed as a result. Jon Weil is a little perplexed by the situation since the individual author of the report isn't even known, but whatevs, it's still a good read.
Problems hinder site Deloitte made in Fla. [BG]
The Boston Globe continues looking under every single rock for anything it can find on Deloitte. "Deloitte Consulting was fined $1.5 million this week by Florida labor officials after numerous problems in a new unemployment benefits system it created for the state, similar to the one Deloitte unveiled this summer in Massachusetts. Both systems have been riddled with technical glitches that left some unemployed people without benefits and unable to pay bills."
Getting to Yes on Tax Reform [Bloomberg]
I don't recommend reading this if you're tax reform optimist.
Robust Auditor Reports Lure Investors: PCAOB Audit Chief [CFO]
HOWEVAH! CFOs, like Carol Tomé of Home Depot, are less convinced that auditors have any value to add: "[Auditors are] not well suited to independently report information about the company beyond what is required to be disclosed by management under GAAP and [Securities and Exchange Commission] regulations."
Bring Drunken Santas Under Control [NYT]
Down with SantaCon, says guy.
Rescuers Near Icy Pond Find Naked Checotah Man Inside Guitar Case [Newson6 via Gawker]
An impressive display of both survival and stupidity: "Police say [Zackery] Aders was trying to walk 26 miles from Gore to Checotah in brutally cold conditions to see a woman. But he got lost, fell through the ice on a pond or creek, and spent 24 hours disoriented, wet and cold in the woods." After he fell in the pond he stripped off his clothes and got himself into the guitar case where he as found by a man working nearby.
Ed. note: tomorrow is my birthday and as such, I will be dropping off the face of the planet as is tradition. Despite any rumors you may have heard, I am NOT celebrating with Ben Bernanke, who just so happens to share the same day of birth although he was born like a bazillion years before me. Anyhoo, I leave you all in the very capable hands of that Colin guy who you may still remember. I have full faith in his ability to keep you entertained in my absence and I will see you all on Monday for business as usual. As happy as I am to get a day off, know that I will think of you all while I'm eating 15 different kinds of cake and not working. XOXO ~AG
Accused scam artist apprehended in Peru Eric Bartoli, the accused mastermind of a $65 million scam featured on "American Greed: The Fugitives," has been apprehended by authorities in Lima, Peru, after 10 years on the run. The former securities broker is on the FBI's most wanted list for his alleged involvement in a Ponzi scheme. [CNBC]
KPMG has turned over China documents to US regulators [WSJ]
10 former IRS folks are getting in trouble for (alleged) unemployment fraud [KSHB]
We retweeted this because we stalk Emily Chasan repeatedly (even in IRL sometimes SHOUT OUT EMILY, SUP GIRL?) but we'll just put this here because accounting red flags are totes our shit, yo [CFO Journal]
We're sure support for John Koskinen has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that acting IRS commissioner Daniel Werfel is basically like "can I just GTFO now, guys?" [WaPo]
Protip: if you withhold employee taxes, you should probably go ahead and get those over the IRS [The Columbus Dispatch]=
Chicago developer Laurance Freed charged with fraud Laurance Freed, a prominent Chicago real estate developer best known for the Block 37 project, has been indicted on federal fraud charges. The U.S. Department of Justice has accused Freed, 51, and Caroline Walters, 53, an executive in Freed's real estate company, with seven counts of bank fraud, one count of mail fraud and five counts of making false statements to banks in a 14-count indictment returned today by a federal grand jury. [Chicago Tribune]
Jonathan Weil explains why Yahoo should have disclosed, disclosed, disclosed. YOU GUYS. That's material and stuff [Bloomberg View]
The SEC ain't afraid of you, wrongdoers [Reuters]
We LOLd when the AICPA pinned advice on the best tie to match your generic blue shirt. Bonus points if you notice two of the three ties are basically exactly the same, which fits with the blue shirt theme [Pinterest]
Colin linked to KPMG's celebratory tweet in the roundup this morning but he failed to point out the best part. The celebration at KPMG was short-lived when they realized even if they made more money than ever, they still aren't making as much money as everyone else:
KPMG International (KPMG) today announced record-high aggregated revenues of US$23.42 billion for the fiscal year ended 30 September 2013, representing a 3.7% increase in local currency terms over the previous year.
KPMG only barely came in under EY (again), who reported revenues of $25.8 billion. And as we know, no one could touch Deloitte who trampled PwC down to #2 with $32.4 billion in revenue.
Michael J. Andrew, Chairman, KPMG International, commented:
"Over the past year we have seen the first widespread signs of economic confidence returning to clients and this has led to improving demand for services around the world, accelerating growth in the second half of the year. Continuing to make significant investments in a difficult economic period while delivering operating efficiencies has ensured we are well-placed to meet this upturn in demand, and will drive stronger growth in the future. We are delighted to report record revenues in target high-growth markets. KPMG has a longstanding commitment to supporting clients in the world's fastest growing economies and this focus drove 16.3% annual growth in revenues in India, 14.3% in Mexico, 13.1% in Africa and 10% in China."
It's OK, KPMG, keep on truckin' and maybe one day, you'll be as big as your press releases purport you to be.